Musings for today!

Musings!

What would I do if I hit rock bottom?  What would I do when it seems that the universe is conspiring against me? What is it that would hold me together?  Why would I let it happen?

Of course I am not in trouble.  I am thinking about what if it were me?  Or, what would I do if it happens to a friend?

I always believe that things happen for a reason and yet the controller in me thinks that I determine my destiny.  Of course it does.  Life is a moment to moment choice.  My choices this moment determines what the universe opens up for me the next.  It is like a video game with lots of twists and turns.

As far back as I can remember, I made up my mind that I will go through life with grit and determination.  I always had that vision of being always the best.  Of course best is relative like I found out later.  If I am among the average and I stand out a little more, I become the best of the bunch. There were times that I developed some arrogance during the process until I found out that in other groups, I was just average. As such, I know how to claw back to equality and then stick my head out to be above average.  I don't know if that is good or not but it seems to be holding back my greatness.  Why not be the very best?  Why be contented of being a tad better than others? But that is another story.

I am really concerned about a friend who is going through life's trials.  I know a little about her past, family background and the sort.  She comes from a middle class family and had seen better days in life.

What values had she picked up along the way?  What "fight" is in her?  Does she have the tools to go through life with grit and persistence?  What holds her together?  What is it that she has to prove to the world?  What is her purpose, her vision?

What am I holding back for?  I know for one is -- fear of the unknown;  the need of certainty;  my self-doubt and my qualms about my age.  Am I doing the right thing?  Am I taking advantage of a poor soul?  I asked this from the universe and it is presenting it to me.  Of course, it is not packaged the way I want it to. I recognize that the universe is presenting it to me raw and rough and it is up to me to sculpt this moment to a masterpiece.  What am I hesitating for? Be careful what you wish for; you may get it.

Am I crazy?  Should I walk away?  Is it one of those moments in my life that I let an opportunity go because of fear, self-doubt and self-worth conversations?  Where else in my life does it show?

I know it would be rough.  But then again who knows where the other path would lead me to?  I wanted this.  I dreamt this.  I visualized this.  I created this.  Now what?

I am enough.  I am complete. I am source.  Ready to confront fear?  Ready to face the unknown?  Ready to risk?  BIG RISK = BIG SUCCESS.

Dang these musings.  My heart tells me to go for it.  LIFE IS NOW.

Reflections of Transformation

Reflections - Transformation

What has transformation done to me?  Why am I so passionate about it?  Why am I giving a lot of my time freely besides the expenses that goes along with it?

I cannot imagine how many people I've met since the beginning of this journey.  I have now friends that I can truly call friends.  We share the same passion, the same love of people and the planet we live in.  We look out for each other, care for each other and truly love each other's company.

A little over a year ago, I was lost in my own tiny world.  I was lonely, sad, angry, lost  -- no idea where my life was going.  No purpose, no direction.  All I knew was work, work and work.  My work was excellent but really?  I was working 10 to 12 hours a day sometimes even more.

But that was then. I can't be judged by my past.  LIFE IS NOW.

Yes, Transformation reshaped my entire life.  I found my purpose; my vision, my focus.  I found that my life matters as much as anybody else.  I found that I am enough.  I am source. Life is a constant choice moment to moment. Life is now.

I get to share this to the world.  My vision is to enroll all people to Transformation.  Everybody gets to go.

GOAL GETTIN'

Sometime in November a number of us MITT graduates formed a group whose purpose is to support each of its members, setting up their Vision/Goals for the Year, Month, Week, Day.  It was organized by Jacqui.

Anyway, without mentioning the names of the members, we are a bunch who have gone through the rigor, pain and fun of Transformational Training.  We speak the same language, we share the same passion and love of life.

I realize that I am talking in general terms here but for those who have not gone through Transformational training, it would make more sense.  The training is about Emotional Intelligence.

Most people think that it is enough to have a high IQ in the workplace but in reality one uses only 10% IQ and the other 40% to 60% EQ - Emotional Intelligence. But that is another topic to discuss.

GOAL GETTIN' Group, as coined by Jacqui, was formed to put us in the right track of Goal Setting.  Having the intention, declaring it, and putting them into action.  We use the journal shown to record each day's or week's or 90-days, etc. goals so we do not get derailed.

We meet each Sunday at a given time at different locations to make it fun and at the same time a social gathering among friends.  We support each other and call each other out when we are slacking. There are 3 guys in the group including me but so far, it is only myself that has been regularly attending the meetings among gorgeous women.  As one of the women said, what I am complaining about?

Self Love ....

I was out sick for sometime coming from my brief vacation in Manila in December.  Whatever bug it was really got me good.

The downtime, however, gave me a chance to reflect where I am at in my personal goals. What came up to me was that I get to learn how to love myself first — meaning, take care and love myself before I can truly look outward and take care of others.  SELF LOVE!

What is self-love?  I am sure if you Google it, you will find a lot of definitions and examples of what it may mean.  I did not want to do that.  I wanted to define it the way I perceive and feel it.

This is the reason why I went to the gym for the first time in years. I hate going to the gym but I get to be serious; forget the word HATE. There was a time that I enrolled and prepaid a 3-year gym membership and only went 3 times. Pathetic, I know. This time I have no excuses. Gym is just across the parking garage of our office. My trainer is very supportive and promised to be on my case so I don’t slack off.

I really thought I was in a fairly good shape but for the paunch that I carry around like a bloated frog. I was wrong. First 15 minutes, I thought I would pass out. Maybe it was the excitement of being back to the gym; maybe because I was sick the previous days; or for whatever reason, I realized that I am overweight, out of shape, and fat.  I gotta take care of my body.  As the saying goes, "mens sana in corpore sano."  A healthy mind in a healthy body.

How else do I practice self-love?  Keeping my apartment spick and span is one thing I can do.  Remove the clutter.  Put away unnecessary stuff that I don't need or never use at all.

Straightening my finances. Though I managed to get myself debt-free, I still have expenses that I could trim that are deemed wasteful like my subscription to Vonage which I barely use!

Why do I think that I will succeed this time?  What is different this time?

Well, I got the support of my fellow GOALIES!

I will explain what the GOAL GETTIN' GROUP is in my next blogs.

Lead with your heart ....

In my transformational training, I learned about "Get out of your head and into your heart. Lead with your heart".  I did not fully comprehend what these words meant.  I always wondered how that is possible.  Working with computers, I am trained to be logical.  If stuff does not compute, it is not worth the effort.

Recently, I realized what it meant.  One night, I did not feel like going to the gym.  I promised myself to go every night after work  but my head said: "Why do you have to go to the gym?  Why punish yourself?  It is sweat and pain.  Go drink beer and be with your friends.  Better yet, lay on your sofa and watch TV.  It is much cozy and warm on it with a cold beer in hand."

I previously declared self-love.  Meaning, I get to do what is good for me -- in thought, in deeds, in any choice I make.  I get to love myself.

And so my heart reminded me of my declaration.  My heart wins!

The following Sunday, I had all the reasons (excuses) not to attend my GOAL GETTIN' meeting.  I was in auto mode.  My head was saying, go to the movies, go see the football playoffs on TV.  Pressure was on!

My body was moving, getting into the car and what do you know, my heart took me to Pasadena for my meeting with friends.  My heart after all was with them.

I am getting the hang of this.  "Lead with your heart ...."  Yeah!